Friendship!
Wow, this is a hard topic.
Here’s a quote from Henry Nouwen: “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness. That’s a friend who cares.”
And there also an anonymous quote says, “The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you’ve had.”
So, what a friend TRULY are? What I think is that friend is a person who is very close to you, that’s for sure. But what I mean here, friend is not someone who can always help you. Friend is not someone that you can lean against every time you get trouble. Why? Because friend, how perfect he or she is, is also a human. They DO have weakness. So, don’t think that friend is a kind of ‘PROBLEM-SOLVER’ who can give you helping hand whenever you need. That’s superhero, not friend ^_^
Friends. They are humans, right? They do have WEAKNESS and they are not GOD. No one is perfect. As I said before, friend couldn’t always help us. But, at least there is something they can do. They are humans, that’s mean they have a FEELING. Meaning, they can understand us. That’s a friend truly are. Someone who CARES about you, someone who SYMPATHIZE with you, someone who GIVES his/her SHOULDER to us for cry on, and someone who UNDERSTAND us and share our pain and joy together.
Epicurus, a philosopher said “It is not so much our friend’s help that helps us, as the confidence of their help.” Sometimes a friend can help us when we get into trouble. His/her help might lighten our burden, but not as much as their sympathy. A friend’s helping hand isn’t as helpful as his/her caring shoulder. Do you get what I mean? They always be by our side, NOT for be a bodyguard or a kind of superman. They can’t always help you since they are also humans just like you. So, what friends are for? They are there by your side, to talk with you whenever you feel down and they are there to strengthen you, not for solving your every problems. They are willing to face your problem along with you. Take a difference between SOLVING YOUR PROBLEMS and FACING YOUR PROBLEM WITH YOU. Their help may not helps us a lot, I remind you.
I have an experience about this. I once wished my friend to be very helpful. Well, in the other word, I expected so much from her. I finally found out that she is a human, so there’s no way she could be a perfect person. Since then, I started not to measure a friend by their capability to help us, instead from their willing to understand us.
That’s friends truly are. However, sometimes when you call them, they don’t answer. That’s mean: THAT’S YOUR TURN TO GIVE THEM SYMPATHY. There must be a turn when you give them your shoulder. A friend mustn’t be an egoist. If you understand this, I’m sure you will have a stronger bond and more understanding friends.
